Football, it’s just a game right? Maybe to some it is… But to me and many others it’s so much more.

I started playing football at a young, I saw my black and white heroes on TV and it consumed me, I wanted to be just like them. The roar of the crowd, the determination and passion of the players. It completely pulled me in.

I never got as far as I wanted to as a player due to a knee injury. The addiction of football was still there, if I couldn’t play I’d watch.

I’ve struggled with my mental health for years, I never felt as though I fit in anywhere. For those special ninety minutes, I was exactly where I needed to be. I fitted in, St James’ Park is where I belong. It might just be a game to some, for me it’s my identity and a place where I can escape life’s problems… Just for a little bit.

Belonging

Walking through Nuns Moor and seeing St James’ Park peering through the trees. Along Barrack Road and with every step the energy of the city takes over you. Meeting friends before the game, talking about the one thing you’re all connected by… Football. Not about money problems, relationships or whatever else might be going on in your life. In that moment the concern is, ”Who’s up front?” Pubs filled with football managers, each having a different opinion.

The time ticks on closer to kick off. Instinctively, people finish their drinks and file through the doors of the pub and up the steps of their cathedral on the hill. Some will have one last drink in the stadium before kick off to settle the nerves. Taking to your seat, surrounded by like-minded people there to roar the team to victory.

The players feel it, the wind like the breath of their fans on the back of their necks. A collective inhale of breath as the referee blows his whistle, the sharp echoing screech followed by a deafening roar of ”Come on!” As you roar along with the sea of black and white, you know this is where you’re supposed to be.

The not so sober race to find a nook to squeeze in to relieve yourself of those pre-match drinks, and to promptly decide to refill your already defeated bladder with more.

Win, and the filing out of the stadium is jubilant. Boozy songs fill the air. Lose, and it’s a quiet walk to the various pubs. Amazing how quiet 52,000 people can be, some mumbling and dissecting the game, others already thinking about the next one.

Newcastle United gave me a purpose, saved my life and gave me an identity. It’s not just a game, it’s a sense of pride of where we’re from. A feeling of belonging and an escape from our problems. It’s so much more than a game.